Chill

Winter moon high in the sky,

yet Darkness binds me

My Soul is worn bleak

Snow capped mountains on the horizon emote the numbness of my head

Slow moving thoughts my movements sluggish and exhausting

Haunting memories like out of tune melodies resound between my ears

Once again closet doors open Skeletons creep, Zombies stumble, and Ghosts materialize

Forced to wield a pensive two edge sword

Against unfamiliar long forgotten experiences, decisions of years past, days of old

DAMN! Why am I so cold?

My windows must be open

Eyes, Windows to the soul letting in the chilling reality

Do I dare look? Do I want to see?

I close them

I consult with my own private genie. My Djinn, my personal bottle that houses spirits

Warm liquid fire I drink of its fount

Fire that burns then warms and yet still numbs

My bones stop their rattle

The Apparitions disappear the closet door appears bolted and unbothered

Courage surges through my veins, I scream

The bellow has reason, has rhyme and reason, words and song

I sing loud, I sing until my chest aches

My eyes squeezed shut small pools develop in the corners

Its sunrise.. I start another day....

Do not have time to think

Don't feel a thing

A n automaton, going through the motions

Another day new sites

The cold still can be sensed looming strong in the peripheral

ever ready to return

Changes and phases

I looked at the full moon the other night. It gleamed in my eye,a chill passed over my body and a recognition ages old came to me. I had no choice but to attribute it to the spirit guides that forever surround me, ancestors and ethereal beings who make themselves known in many ways. I was urged to greet a Gypsy guide I have and to take three sacred tools of hers and placing them in the light of the moon. One a Crystal ball on a three prong pedestal , the other a glass of water with an Blue evil eye ward in it, and a deck of cards wrapped in a moonstone talisman. I asked the moon to illuminate my conscious, I asked her to bless my path and help me develop my intuition. As my intuition is bound with the element of water and the blood that runs through my veins. I ebb, I flow I am one with the natural laws that exist and predate us all.
I had a series of dips in moods, mostly lows but some highs. All week verging on wanting to scream and strangle folks, then wanting to cry and escape into a trance avoiding reality and putting on my Ipod and earphones.
I read a blog by the brilliant and ever so wise Elizabeth Cunningham and I read Maeve's words that say we follow what the moon has been trying to tell us for the longest times, Its all a phase... Isn't it?! Isn't all a balance? Ups and downs, rights and lefts... You cant have it all how you want it or expect it.You kind of let things flow, you take things as they come. Does the tide complain and or fight the pull of the moon? I doubt it, it moves as it should as instinct and nature demands of it and it finds a purpose.
Like Sisyphus you can roll the rock uphill and view it as a curse or you can make peace with it and find a purpose with in it.