Weekend

I just spent a weekend from which I don't want to recover from. I wanted to stay with my family. Family is not always a blood relation, sometimes connections of the spirit will speak as strong if not stronger than blood.
I met a woman crowned with wheat colored hair of varden, a smile warm and inviting, eyes that sparkle like diamonds. She came to our house, invited us to hers. We accepted. She took of mother earth the sweetest of grapes and vines and made wine that warmed the insides, eased pain, not numbing just easing. She shared with us we took it in and gave what we could. Conversation was sweet, deep, meaningful. We talked guides, earth, magic, spirit, childhood, God and Goddesses, life and love.
In her home we only continued the process. I witnessed many things by the lake, felt unseen forces walking amongst the heavily wooded floors and walls. I felt the presence of majestic animals like Elk, bears, hawks, and even Bob cats. I saw wooden ritual tools being made, feathers adding their grace and power, I felt a sage like neutralizing energy. Peaceful!
I saw a spirit of a woman soft mousy brown hair, thick and luxurious arms of feathered golden and tan plumage. A scale in her hands with two books being weighted evenly, she wore a head band that was loose and acted as a semi blind fold the way it fell around her eyes. This spirit showed herself to me warm and yet indifferent. She embraced and surrounded our hostess of the weekend.
Falconer, she was, holding an ancient power on her very arm. A wonder of nature a very beautiful, regal bird of prey who knows only the element of air which it readily accepts in its flight to freedom. Power in its eyes and talons, majesty. Lord of the sky, of the hunt.
Blue eyed Ying and Yang, loving and accepting. One eyed Sassy Pearl paired with a bluish gray Sable feline of extravagant beauty.
We journeyed together Dionysus in one hands, surprise and good intent in the other. Imbolc called we answered, mother surprised by our sudden and unexpected appearance. Embraces, kisses, faces flushed with wine and spirits and most of all adoration.
Mother was present she was receiving us with open arms and heart. A song ready on her lips, her brilliant mind forming and producing words in the most intricate fashions before her mouth can utter them. Father feeling well, in great spirit the green pungent on his person, the warmth emanating off of him enough to realize God, the Father is connected to the Sun. Radiant, warm, protective.
The women present all in tune and in alignment with the highest mother of them all, the woman who sits round and bright in the darkness, The Moon.
Brigid is called, she is worshipped and sung too. Rhianna a walking and sometimes sleeping Goddess shares libations explains the beauty of ancient ceremonies of ages past. We close our eyes each with a firm vision and or feeling as we thing of what we can repair and or do to further make our way and life more productive. A woman with wild hair the color of the setting sun, bright and aflame. She winks at me she blows me kisses she is naked accept what looks like a burlap sack strategically places to just cover up a beautiful and voluptuous body. Several braided straps of some foreign material tied around her in a big bow. She is in a field of wheat and she tells me she is the harvest, she is the gain one gets from the earth. The product of hard work put into the land and received. Fruition! Compensation!
I know now why we three are there, why our Mother is there. We have been working and waiting, Brigid ready to bring us what we worked so hard for. We worked hard to find community, family, art, confidence, wealth.... its just outside of our reach. We have been brought to the gates of fruition, its for us to harvest at this point... we grab our tools: pens, microphones, faith, voices.

Trying to figure it all out

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Turbulent waters

Tonight I witnessed myself and two others on a boat. It was amidst peaceful waves that pushed us gently and steadily towards a common place and destination. Where, not one of us knew but we were lead by the current of spirit. One of us felt a discord, one of us got angry and frightful. One of us reached out in the only way we knew how, to gain control over the situation based on our passed experience of dealing with issues like this. I sat in the middle of this boat angered as either side tried to get to their point of where we were going, how we should get there, was our boat worth boarding or should we let it capsize and separately swim to sure. I know in my heart we were in this boat not for us, we were in this boat to get to a place, to bring something with us to a destination. To be guided by spirit but to impart that spirit of us onto others, we could help if we could only get to sure. No matter how turbulent the waves, no matter how dark the sky seemed to get. Lightning and anger flashed in beautiful but horrific displays, winds of shifting personalities and thoughts whipped our hair and very clothes around, emotion like water in time with the ebb and flow pulling at us and dictating the direction in which we could go although we collectively felt lost.

My thoughts raced back to Our lady of Charity, and the three men in that boat. Light surrounded us slowly but surely we just had to open up to it in order to see it. Love was just peaking through the storm clouds, the water of our emotions reflecting in small specs against the shadowy surface. I felt my anger break I felt myself rise within myself, I shall not be silenced I walked away from the boat... I walked on water like the old stories of Jesus and let the boat go. I knew that either of the two were lost in their own thoughts, then they too got out of the boat. They walked on waves we three spoke our peace. We got to shore where we hugged, we embraced, we brought with us that trinity. Holy things always in threes, we were finally on sure without realizing it. Commonality in our goal, egos hurt, feelings still processing, LOVE still present.... we know there are so many more boat rides, train rides, living rooms to go.

Captain & Tenille plays in the back of my mind " Love! Love will keep us together!"

We turned I looked back I bathed in cool waters and thanked La Caridad del cobre, Our Lady of Charity and thanked her for our own private exchange during the storm, during the turbulent waves.

My calling

I met someone humble, genuine, he was jovial. His crown was the ocean and its depths, the force of his crown was the mother who fights for her children who gives into the anger or love and fights and defends ferociously and efficiently. His name was Leo, Okoto was the crown.
I was brought into a room where a myriad of colors splashed across a singular room. Women in white head wraps with a scarlet parrot feather tucked somewhere in their knot. Dark and light colored people with the whitest of clothes, emanating a glow of freshness somewhat angelic in appearance.
I see one corner of the room draped in the most delicate and colorful cloth. They draw your eyes to them without your permission. Helpless to the beauty and intricacies you see strewn in the most thoughtful of ways. I see multicolored tureens and Porcelain jars draped in fine cloth and adorned with decorated beaded Necklaces that denote royalty to the fullest degree. Inside the porcelain confines are but a bit of harnessed energy, a bit of a force of nature. I liken it to capturing a bit of lightning or thunder in a jar. Heat and energy is raised around the room as a few men start playing drums. There voices hard and raspy still make the most beautiful of songs as they sing songs of ages old. Africa makes itself known, the motherland comes through bubbling up from our very cells, our soul, through our pores, out of our mouths into our limbs. Making us move to a rhythm that takes over our very being, we move, we sway, we spin, we step in line with those around us who are doing specific movements for one of the Orishas.
This cant be the same religion I have heard about, this cant be this dark secretive practice I have heard about in the media. This once believed Devil worship by myself only a few months ago which only through education, showed me they have no devil and devil is purely a christian concept.
This couldn't be anything but pure beauty. What could be more pure than to accept, acknowledge, and appreciate the earth on which we live? This is what Orisha is, they are the very essence of Nature, the very invisible and potent forces that make things what they are.
I felt a connection, nothing that could be explained only felt. It rang through me, reverberating through my soul as if a bell as rung, my core in tune with these drums. Each beat of the drum echos in sync with my heart, my limbs and torso find a movement that feels too natural too right and somehow. I look around i am moving the same as some others standing in my midst, no need for taught choreographed movement's, this was spirit, this was community. I found a link to my ancestors, I was naked my soul was bared, I was giving in to this sound, this feeling. This is more than me, this is above me, this is ME. I'm a willing instrument, a vessel awaiting to be prepared in order to receive one of these forces of nature, this part of the divine. I am home recognition floods my brain, I am overwhelmed with emotion. Dejavu implies I have experienced this before, but I cannot recollect a single memory. I'm in love with this feeling, I'm in love with this community, I m in love with this music, I'm in love with Nature, with the earth.
I am home.