I sat in penitencia.... Quiet, pensive, thinking about my road here. I am trying to concentrate but the Oba singing behind me and the answer of the people who are singing back to him, is really singing to my Soul and my Spirit. The call and response is amazing, its pristine and clear like a symphony of horns in unison yet somehow harmonic. These are songs that have been song countless times and can all be traced to THE Motherland, Africa.
I chose this road of Lucumi, Ocha, Santo. It called to me and I answered. My answer took 5 years but I came steadily, taking my time to learn to see to experience what I could until the right opportunity arose. I read countless people and gave them spiritual advice, I cleaned some and helped others and took small monetary donations in order to help me reach my goal.
Just a day before me sitting in the corner and enduring penitencia, I was presented to the clearest most room temp water. It flowed wonderfully and steady, it refreshed me just stepping in it cool waters, I felt the loving presence of a mother wrap around me like a swirling breeze. I carried back with me a part of that river for a memento, I felt like I carried some secret hidden joy from a beautiful place that only I knew.
I was washed, I was cleaned, the old essence of me ripped from my body I was sat down and I had my eyes shut for all of it. I trusted these people who sang these songs of Mother Africa, I trusted these people who chanted and prayed over me, laid soothing and loving hands on me. They prepared my way, the way of my rebirth and I was grateful because I knew in moments I would be reborn and I would live my adult life very differently.
I felt my head being combed, I felt pieces being cut and with it the WEIGHT of every sorrow, injustice, stressful situation, obstacle, and set back. Every emotion tied to those things bubbled forth and up, I cried and let go a mighty sigh and wail of relief. I cried for things I did, things that were done to me, I cried for those more fortunate than I and those less fortunate than I. I cried and I cried and I cried. I couldn't stop, I was patted here and there, gestures of sympathy as those who cut my hair once sat in the same position as I and had their own ultimate release. This was the work of God, the work of a Divine power to be released of so much so suddenly.... and all I had to do was let go and let it all GO.
I saw my Grandmothers, Great Grandmother, a grandfather, two grand uncles and some other family members I knew were family members but i had never formally met, they lined up and thanked me for completing something in my ancestral line that others started but never finished. More tears I was over come with humility and graciousness.
After the last tears shed and my fresh bald head and scalp felt the breeze of a once familiar wind, I shook with a chill. A chill that started from the top of my head, down my arms into my stomach and from there to my toes. I heard a laugh come from my lips, but it wasn't mine. I swooned as a fresh new feeling came over me, I felt happy and my tears of release became new tears of Joy I was coming into this world again and I felt the most joyous feeling I have ever felt. If you can imagine your first birthday present, Xmas gift or something you wanted for so long that was placed in front of you and given to you... a child, a hand in marriage... this was that to the tenth power. I felt an overwhelming JOY and happiness that can only be summed up in one word, and name Ochun.
People lined up presented and introduced themselves to me by way of their names and their spiritual names. They each placed hands on my head and told me what God and Orisha had did for them and they proceeded to wish me all the blessings in the world. This was too much for me to handle especially when I heard the familiar voices of My Godfather/Mentor and friend, his partner my Yibona, My godsister, and My Padrinos mother. Their well wishes amongst all those that I didn't know made me feel so grateful and appreciative of my existence and this tradition.
I felt every emotion at once, and yet my head couldn't wrap around all the variety of sentiments that ran through me.... I slipped in and out of consciousness.... I felt the greatest urge to stand up and dance and laugh.... then I came to and I heard people singing and I felt a small weight on my head, my eyes were closed but I felt something being channelled through me... I slipped in and out of consciousness as Spirit took over and my mother got near... I felt an amazing feeling that in no sacrilegious way can only be described as the moment right before one orgasms and releases. This feeling of euphoria enveloped me like a blanket and head wrap and my feet got cold as if i was standing in water and I wanted to reach out into the water at my feet and wash myself in it, but I knew I would find none there.
I was then walked and led to a room and when I opened my eyes a special place was prepared for me to lay my head and meditate on what just happened to me. It was strewn with Yellows and whites and oranges and it felt like home. As I sat down on a special yet uncomfortable seat meant for me, I couldn't quite get my emotions together and It wasn't until I left the beautiful island of Cuba, that I got a grip on some emotions. Some new, some pending, my out look was different though. I was at peace with my environment and myself, I was optimistic something foreign for me prior to my visit. I found love in various forms and as I left this Island, I felt I left a piece of myself there.
I am forever indebted to the beautiful souls who helped me along this road and journey.
Omi Lari, Omi Lana, Eshu Dina, Omi Dina, Oba Chango dina, Oba Nini, Oba Oscar, Ibu Folosade, Eshu Nike and last but not least Eshu Afefere iku and Anthony.
Because of you Eni Osun- Blessed/Beloved Child of Ochun was born. My eternal gratitude!
