There are those moments where you find a mentor. You find a person to take you by the hand expecting nothing but your success. They see something in you that you did not see yourself and try to influence and shape you into the greatness they see while giving you room to be uniquely you. This was my friends mother. She decided to share with me her experience of seeing the unseen and dealing with them at a young age. Her experience started at three where spirits would enter her body and either she would take on a new persona, speak of things she couldn't possible know at her age or had yet to learn, or in some cases rolled across the floor as something stronger than her wrestled with trying to take over her person. She explained to me that as a little girl growing up in PR this was not so uncommon and she was placed on the path of keeping a mesa blanca (white table) which was a sacred space one set up in their home much like an altar. This was a space that was kept clean, and filled with key things that keep the spiritual energies flowing, and constant. There is a representation of the elements present and the table served as a plac of not only communication but trabajando la obra de dios (working the works of God).
The first reading I got was from my friends mom and sister who both told me of spirit guides they saw walking with me. They explained to me I was not alone and that at birth we were signed entities that work on the non physical plane in order to help us over come the trials of life and in essence by elevating us they elevate their stature and vibration/energy in that realm. This was a total foreign concept for me. All I knew was the vengeful Jehovah, taker out of first borns, bringer of plagues, God of the Israelites... then in contrast the very cool calm and collect Jesus who did major PR work for the prior God of the bible and his reputation. I knew from prior teachings there is only God and the Devil anything that wasn't what was considered God through the lens of the "organization" of Jehovahs witnesses then it was demonic. I had called on this God my whole life and felt very little of this loving and or protective presence that was described in scripture.
However, this new information had me reeling with the possibilities of perhaps I had been asking for the wrong help from the wrong source. I was calling to management in hopes they send someone down form headquarters meanwhile I had a whole league of co workers waiting for me to ask their help.
I was set on a road of development, where I started learning to do dedicative work at my altar. Learning to give energy in up-keeping and maintaining the altar, changing the waters in my glass(es) and burning of the incense or candles. This was more about keeping ourselves clean and maintained to be tapped into spirit, the altar was reflective of ourselves. Then came the prayer, yes the words had meaning as they were repeated over and over but the other thing they did was become a repetitive mantra or chant of sorts which allows one to zone out and quiet the mind so that one could truly hear. This was my biggest challenge and put me in a constant fear of not being heard yet again when I called out for assistance of a divine nature. There were times I would pray so long and so hard I would fall asleep at my altar. I would get frustrated because I was so impatient with the process, I felt all my altar maintenance and hard praying something should have happened. I don't know what I expected but part of it was some grand revelation, some parting of the clouds and some ray of light that speaks to me and validates my great job. Perhaps some spirit to appear in the friendliest of manners and letting me know all was not in vain and from now on we were gonna be best buddies. Nothing of the sort happened.
In the tradition we would have things called Misas, which could be likened to seances where spirit communication was sought out and where mediumship was developed. All present were encouraged to open up, quiet their minds stay in the present moment. Close their eyes and see, be still and listen. In these moments spirit would communicate with us. I attendee one of these almost every weekend for a year. I would see mediums give messages from the beyond, from dead relatives or interpreting messages from other spirit guides to those who needed to hear those exact messages. I felt so useless in these gatherings as I could in no way participate and just sat there enraptured by the information present but also wishing to participate in some way actively.
One day out of the blue it happened, I started having dreams with an old woman who seemed familiar although I never met her. Her name was confirmed as a family member of mine who I have not met and when I saw a picture of this deceased relative I was able to confirm this was the woman I had been dreaming with. Spirit guides started showing themselves to me and I was finally communicating with these entities. The next misa I attended I was able to pick up on information I was shown in my head in the form of flash images and strong impressions and I was able to speak up and give these messages to those in need.
For once I was not the odd man out, I was a part of something that was interactive and could be felt. This was so different than the monumental silence I had always experienced, this was tangible and could actually be felt.
This was the liberation I was looking for, being able to feel when I communed with the Divine. Being able to see and tap into that divine source. Being able to advise and minister to those who needed it.
This was what spurred religion, this connection made people seek out ways that could connect others to this great source. I also realized this was not a reliable way of approaching spirit, since everyone journey and connection to source is different and requires its own space and time to process and establish their connection.
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