Old skin

I come and I go and I have been adorning a coat sewn with PRIDE, and worn with GRACE. The style is CONFIDENCE, the material is HAPPINESS. Its just a coat, a garment that can be cast aside, and it is.
I enter my home, hung up is my coat and I slip into an old shirt of INADEQUACY, a depressing piece of material. Holey, flawed, dingy with experiences, stained with residual heartache. This shirt is comfortable, its too familiar. I know I should throw it away and probably put on my coat again, but I cant. This old shirt fits me all too well, its like stepping into old worn familiar skin. The shirt and skin Ive known for so long. I got it sometime during childhood. It was washed only in the water of my tears, it bears my scent my essence.
Why is it so hard for me to let this go or take this garment off? Why is it still safely tucked away into my closet or in my drawer? Why does it still have such a place in my life?
Is it because it reminds me of days past? Being a child and not knowing why I was crying? Inconsolable? Happy running and climbing trees with the boys, reading comics just to go home and retreat to the corner of my room or hidden under the covers listening to the sounds of Music the only thing I understood, understand. The only thing that helped sooth me when I felt this way....
Now I am doing the very thing I love and still underneath my Glorious coat I still seem to wear the same old shirt, not yet ready or confident to be truly naked...